Speaking from the Heart - Same-sex marriage & the Church in Wales

In October 2021, the Governing Body of the Church in Wales began a five year 'experiment'. An experiment, authorised by just one vote, to introduce trial liturgy of blessing for formalised same-sex relationships. That experiment is now up for review.

The Church in Wales faces a choice. They could do nothing - in which case the last chance to hold such a service would be in September 2026. Alternatively, they could vote to introduce the liturgy as a permanent rite or go the whole hog and introduce equal marriage. But that is a decision for next year, for now, the Church in Wales is theoretically in 'listening' mode'.

They've had listening exercises in the dioceses, the Governing Body have had their turn and the Bench of Bishops are going to have theirs. In fact Governing Body had two opportunities - first they listened to those willing to stand and "speak from the heart", then they had thirty-seven minutes to listen to those seated on their table. Finally, each person had the opportunity to write down their views, so the Bench of Bishops could listen to everyone.

For anyone genuinely listening it was abundantly clear that the Church in Wales is divided in heart and mind.

The Very Revd Ian Black, Dean of Newport was first to his feet, declaring that it would be, "pastorally and missionally unthinkable to end what we have begun" and asserting that the Church in Wales has, "already decided the biblical and theological case for same-sex unions when we concluded in 2021. His case had a certain logic to it, as he put it, "You don't trial what you think is theologically anathema."

Lacey Jones, a young co-opted lay member of the Governing Body, agreed, "Welcoming people means affirming people, honoring their relationships, and walking alongside them in faith, love, and community", so stopping blessings and not offering equal marriage is tantamount to the "hypocritical exclusion" which Jesus "condemned".

They were not alone in their views - speaker after speaker spoke of the dire implications of not offering 'equal marriage'. Revd Matt Davis spoke of "brothers and sisters in Christ maimed and hurt" by "traditional values". Revd Canon Andrew Lightbown went further describing the need for individual identity to be affirmed and acknowledged "in terms of ethics and liturgical rights" as a matter of "life and death."

Revd Ruth Rowan and her civil partner, Hannah, both spoke of their desire to marry. Ruth said it felt like their relationship was "under attack in this place" and Hannah challenged the Governing Body not to compromise,  "If you don't think people like me are able to live good and wholesome lives, you should vote against any provision. But know that that is what you're saying. If you believe that I am God's mistake, you should have the courage of your convictions and make that choice."

Others spoke of the privilege of offering the blessings, including one who admitted using "creative liturgical ability" to provide services of blessing, "with all the bells and whistles", for couples when he served in the Church of England.

Perhaps the simplest argument in favour of maintaining the blessings came from Revd Ruth Coombs, who said, "We cannot take away what we have already given."

Yet a faithful minority remain in the Church in Wales and those representing them spoke clearly and graciously.

Revd Jim Griffiths made plain that these were not issues on which it was possible to agree to disagree. "Sexuality is the presenting issue", he said, "The underlying issue is the authority of Scripture." He went on to talk about the serious divisions that exist between the Church in Wales and the majority of the Anglican Communion. This theme was picked up by the Ven Andy Grimwood, as he shared his own concern, "that the Church in Wales is prepared to forsake its place within the Anglican Communion."

Both the Ven Andy Grimwood and Revd Melanie Prince spoke of the impact the decision to introduce the same-sex blessings had had on the orthodox. Alongside grief and pain, Melanie referred to eleven clergy who had left the Church in Wales and Andy spoke of the lay people departing the church and finding refuge in other denominations.

Lay members of the Governing Body also spoke. Isaac Holding called for a church which, like Christ, "is here to heal and transform our sinful natures through teaching and holding us to account." While Della Nelson pleaded with them, "To be humble and to admit that God is the final authority. He has stated in Scripture what marriage is and it is our responsibility in humility as the body of Christ to honour that."

Perhaps, Revd Melanie Prince summed up the dilemma facing all orthodox Anglicans in the Church in Wales.

"We love the Lord. We love his word. We love Jesus. We want to be obedient. And we want our church to help us to do that, not to put us in opposition to it."

It seems, however, that the majority are listening but not learning. They are committed to what Revd Hayley Matthews described as, "that wonderful perichoretic dance of grace ... an ever widening circle of grace that says all are welcome." In doing so they show they are deaf to the one who said, "If you love me, you will keep my commandments".

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